Hey, not everybody knows what to do when they end up in a situation like this. [That's more than most people can say.]

It would, wouldn't it? Though there's a guy who's now threatening to kill me if I don't cook for him every day. I'm considering poisoning him. [Deadpan]

Okay, meet me at the grocery store near the dorms at four and be ready to carry things. [If they're gonna do this, they're going to start immediately because gosh something to do!]