overjoy | one ♚ action

[This is not stalking. This is not stalking. This is not stalking.

But shit! Mikado is here. Here! Walking around like nothing is wrong. Like a bullet hasn't recently shattered his spine along with his future. Trying to use money that Masaomi learned on his first day isn't accepted.

What the hell is he supposed to do? Proooobably not stare from behind the candy isle. This doesn't stop him from doing it, freshly bought supplies hanging from one elbow and a bat draped over his other shoulder.

What kind of idiot runs away after seeing his best friend? What kind of asshole walks up to the guy he crippled like he's still his best friend? What kind of creepy stalker terrorist follows his best friend around town with a baseball bat?

Deep breaths. He's still standing after his meeting with Heiwajima.

Shit. Bad choice of words.]

Uh- [He doesn't step foward, only sideways into the open, an uncertain smile barely stretching the edge of his lips.] You might want to check your phone, man.

Edited 2012-08-19 03:36 (UTC)

[ Initially, Masaomi's voice doesn't particularly faze Mikado to be of familiarity-- but after turning, he comes to realize that he's very, very wrong for shrugging off the other's suggestion.

For a long time, he's quiet. The most he spares him is a blank stare.

And then it clicks. ]

[ This isn't really the kind of reunion he imagines himself having after their last run-in in Ikebukuro-- the last he remembers of Masaomi is his request to return to Anri and forget they'd ever talked until he was done shaping his "perfect world".

Which, of course, never ended up turning out the way it should have.

He's staring slack-jawed for what seems like quite a while, but he breaks from his stupor momentarily to spit something - anything out of his mouth. ]

Masa.. omi?

[ He's probably in a bit more disbelief-- albeit for reasons of his own, he's shocked all the same. ]

[It's strange. Seeing Mikado react this way, shocked beyond the ability to converse, actually helps ease some of Masaomi's own surprise. He's not alone in his lack of comprehension, and that makes everything just a little easier to comprehend.

Why is Mikado here?

A nervous chuckle breaks free from his hold. He can't stop the overflow that follows.]

Talk about deja vu. Am I gonna have to make this multiple choice again, or can you manage the essay answer?

Masaomi-sensei demands a more enthusiastic greeting!

[ He wants to laugh. He really does. The person standing not too far off is, in fact, the lame Kida Masaomi he knows all too well. But that's exactly what bugs him.

He's so very casual, and that shouldn't really bother him as much as it does. Has he forgotten everything from home? Why isn't he mad with Mikado? Why isn't he going to demand an apology for the horrible mistakes he made back home? Why, why, why--

Everything comes rushing up his throat, and his voice wobbles as he speaks. He forces what he can out, though. ]

Masaomi--

Masaomi, it's really you..?!

[ He already knows the answer. He already knows, without any bad humor, that he person before him really is Masaomi. He'd be able to pull him from a crowd of hundreds - maybe even thousands - any day.

But this isn't the day he wants to see him. He doesn't want to confront Masaomi about anything. Not yet. ]

Edited 2012-08-19 22:07 (UTC)

[Casual? If Masaomi heard that, he'd want to scream. If he was so casual, he'd be able to shut his trap for once and hold back long enough to say something worth saying. He'd be able to stop gripping that bat so tight his fingers hurt.

A miracle is standing in front of him, and the miracle is staring like Masaomi is the one who can't be real. He recognizes that look. It's the same one Anri gave him, and that scares him. It's a look that says he isn't supposed to be here. Maybe he should have run after all.]

Really, really, man. Seriously. [He sighs like it's business as usual, but the following intake of breath is shaky.] If you end up needing glasses too, it's going to take away from Anri-chan's attraction points.

[ His retort comes out instinctively. ]

Masaomi! Y-You can't talk about Sonohara-san like that--

[ And then he realizes that for the first time within the past minute - mind you, it feels like it's been at least ten after standing there and gaping for so long - speaking has finally come naturally to him. ]

[ The smile that comes afterwards falters a number of times. He can't keep it still even if it means losing his life, but he makes an effort to make sure that something with resemblance to a smile stays on his face. He needs to keep it there. He needs to pretend that there's nothing wrong-- at least, until Masaomi brings up the subject and picks up on the fact that something is terribly wrong.

Silence settles in, and it starts to make Mikado very uncomfortable. He can't keep this up for long. ]

It's-- uh.. [ "Fancy seeing you here!" or "wow, it's been a while, Masaomi!" are things that he could (and probably should) say now. But neither manage to make their way from his throat. Unfortunately, he's not very good at acting, so the most he can muster is a sheepish laugh. ]

[Another nervous chuckle escapes at Mikado's instinctual reaction. That's more like it. That's the right response for the setting, for them, for any other day. But today it's gritty because it's rolling over the questionable spikes beneath.

When Mikado can't say more, it's Masaomi who's there to keep everything going, to keep everyone chatting, to keep the world at ease. But today it's too gritty, and it won't roll off his tongue. It's too much effort, but he tries anyway, taking a step forward as emboldened lips open once again.

His friend is willing to talk back.]

Mikado, you're really okay. What kind of magic did you use? Is it this whacked out asylum? You're-

[Not lying desolate in a hospital bed.

Opposite problem Mikado is having. Masaomi hastily clamps his mouth shut.]

[ Nothing's lining up in the right place. Nothing's making any sense to Mikado. This is clearly his best friend, and he should be able to whole-heartedly smile in front of him. He should be able to punch his shoulder and laugh with him about anything and everything.

But he can't.

There's something incredibly off about everything, and Masaomi's sure to have noticed it as well. It's not something he wants to mention outright, but this Masaomi isn't his Masaomi. Not the one that he knows-- not the one that should be angry with him, not the one that should slap him across the face for smiling when he shouldn't be. ]

Magic..? Masaomi, I-- [ He tries smiling again just to make everything that little bit more credible, but he's still having trouble with it. He's got good reason to, though. ] I'm fine, really.

Why wouldn't I be?

[Why wouldn't he be?

Because Masaomi fucked up.

And yet- This isn't about confronting Mikado anymore. Mikado has no idea why Masaomi would be afraid to talk to him. This is about being scammed, teleported to some freakish orange city, meeting people he knows here, and realizing they know something he doesn't.

If only to make something make sense, he blurts it out all too quickly.]

Because that bastard Horada shot you.

[ His heart almost stops, and whatever attempts he's already made at smiling have gone straight to hell without anything to signify a return soon.

It's impossible. The proof is standing right here; he's standing right in front of his best friend - actually, he's not sure who this is anymore - and he's living. That should be enough in itself to say that it can't have happened, but what has Masaomi got to gain from lying-- and lying about something like this?

How could it have happened? Surely, if Mikado were remember anything, he'd remember being shot. Especially if said gunshot were to compromise the rest of his life. ]

Wh--

[ His throat goes dry, and he can't say anything else. He's at a loss for words again. ]

.. shot.. me? Wh--.. what..?

...you really have no idea.

[It's not accusation; it's acceptance.

The one step he'd moved forward, he now withdraws, letting the tip of his bat drop to the tiled floor.

He came here for Mikado, but Mikado is okay? Did they lie to him? He never actually saw Mikado after receiving the news; it wasn't as if either of them could get around at first, and then... No. No, no, no. He's getting ahead of himself again.

Whatever is going on, it's not Mikado who's at fault. It's not... Well, it's probably not some sort of conspiracy against him either. Ha. It's more likely that he skipped over some fine print somewhere.

And none of this helps with the situation at hand.]

Wow. I should have gone with a cooler entrance.

[ There's a pause, then his eyebrows gradually close in to knit at the bridge of his nose. It doesn't matter if Masaomi wants to pretend there's nothing wrong with leaving a number of questions unanswered-- because he doesn't. He's not okay with leaving anything up in the air anymore, because there's something behind everything that doesn't make any sense at all.

For what distance Masaomi makes, Mikado makes up for by leaving the queue and picking up the bat. ]

Tell me everything. [ This time, he's the one holding the bat tight. ] Tell me everything about what happened, Masaomi.

[ If his change in both tone and posture aren't enough to make it obvious that he's not here to smile and make with awkward pleasantries, he's going to give Masaomi some incentive: ]

You're supposed to be angry. You shouldn't be able to look me in the eye. You're supposed to punch me for everything that I've done to you and Sonohara-san..

.. and you aren't supposed to lie and say that everything is okay. [ Because it's clearly not anymore. ]

[Incentive is certainly one word for it.

Masaomi hears every word, sees every motion, but none of it feels real. Nothing has truly felt real since he appeared in his room here. He's tried to use that to his advantage with varying degrees of success. He'd call this a pretty big failure, but even that failure doesn't feel entirely real. Not until Mikado says Anri's name with that tone of voice.

Ryuugamine Mikado can't even bring himself to confess to Sonohara Anri. What could he have done to her that would make Masaomi want to punch him?

Somehow Mikado is the one closing in, and Masaomi's gaze drops to his discarded bat rather than meeting the other boy's. Well, now he can't look him in the eye.

Despite all of the blindingly bright colors and mocking semblance of normal life, nothing about this place is okay, is it?]

[After taking another moment to breathe, Masaomi hastily raises his head and grins like a manic. He shoves his arms out excitedly, shaking the snack bundle hanging from his elbow. The change is frantic, overdone, and frightening in its abruptness.]

C'mon, Mikado! You can't get so serious in a place like this! They'll kick us out for scaring away all their innocent little shopper elves!

I've got a better idea!

[His free arm pumps into the air.]

Reunion party at my place! Or better yet, we can sneak into one of the unused rooms! Yeah, that's perfect! That way we can party all night, and no grouchy old neighbors will bang on the wall with their canes because we interrupted their period drama!

[ At first, Mikado is left in awe-- not because of his outrageous suggestion, no. It's because he still finds the need to lie to him, even after they've come to realize that there is something very wrong with their appearances here.

His dumbstruck expression is shortlived, however. That same, hardened face is back with full force. He's not planning on taking the escape route with this predicament anytime soon. ]

Then we can take this outside.

[ With the baseball bat in hand, he raises it to chest height. He means to do so as a threat-- but it's obvious that it serves as anything but. He can't keep a still hold on it nor his voice. ]

This is serious, Masaomi. Please--

[ Suddenly, he's desperate. ]

Please, just tell me.

[It's not Mikado that Masaomi is trying to lie to now, but he doesn't know how to say that right. The former gang leader wants, needs, this to be private. This is going to hurt. It already does. And he can't do that where people can watch. The truth is not his default setting, and he needs somewhere safe to flip the switch.

He'd like to think he's doing it for Mikado's sake too, if he ever thought that far ahead, but right now, before even considering how this confrontation can be used against them, he just needs to get out.

Masaomi's arm juts out, and firm, steady fingers stretch to wrap around Mikado's contrasting grip on the bat. If Mikado allows him that much, he's pulling the both of them straight toward the exit.]

I get it, I get it! We've got a lot of catching up to do~

[Pleading eyes and furrowed brows don't match his strained smile.]

Just not here.

[ With what initial resistance he provides, he doesn't at all hesitate in relenting after he comes to realize that this is the other's wordless instruction to follow. He lets Masaomi lead the way without complaint-- it's not exactly what he wants to think about now, but the situation shows striking resemblance to his first night in Ikebukuro and his personal introduction to the nooks and crannies of the city.

Thinking at all doesn't seem to make anything pleasant, so he tries to clear his mind and pry himself away from his memories. It still begs the question-- why can't he remember something so significant? And why can't Masaomi?

To break the silence that trails long after their leave from the store, Mikado clears his throat. Reluctance is evident-- but, thus far, have either of the two been particularly enthusiastic? ]

I don't understand.

[ Isn't that something they don't know. ]

What--

How--

[Masaomi doesn't slow down until they're alone on the empty streets. He doesn't look back either, not even when Mikado finds the nerve to speak up again. Geez. Forcing Mikado to start the conversation twice in so many minutes. This is a new low.]

Really... [He finally concedes with a weighted chuckle. He doesn't let go of Mikado's hand.] You have the worst timing. It's like you do it on purpose.

Suddenly Anri was there, and he was going for the gun again. I figured it was the end. I was ready for that, you know.

...

Then you road in on the back of that bike, and the bastard didn't have the guts to aim at me.

[He has to stop there because he can't even remember everything that follows. There was a lot of kicking and biting and screaming and bleeding. Instead, he opens his mouth to mention what happened after - Kadota and Saki, the hospital, Mikado's parents arriving from Saitama - but nothing comes out because just imagining the looks on their faces is enough to freeze his vocal chords.

Silently, he turns his lowered gaze in Mikado's direction.]

You think I understand this crap?

[ There's almost nothing keeping him from laughing at it all. It sounds so ridiculous-- as far as Mikado's concerned, nothing of the sort came close to happening. Being able to stand in front of him should be enough proof in itself. But the genuine frustration in Masaomi's voice stops him from even the slightest snicker. It's not much of a laughing matter, really. ]

That didn't-- [ It didn't happen. Not to this Mikado, anyway. His grip tenses and loosens subconsciously. ]

.. No one was shot, Masaomi.

[ His stomach starts twisting and turning in all sorts of ways, and it leaves a disgusting taste in his mouth. It's hard for him to continue-- neither want to have to elaborate on that particular night in general. ]

Why--

Why don't you remember anything? Nothing makes any sense, and you-- you should know better than anyone about what happened then!

[No one was shot. To hear those words out of Mikado's mouth is almost too much. He has to swallow a lump in his throat. Tell that to Anri, to Mikado's parents, to the nurses who gave him dirty looks, but don't say it to him.]

What am I supposed to remember, huh? What kind of miracle did I miss out on? Because it's starting to sound a whole lot better than what I actually remember!

[ This sort of thing - when Masaomi's like this - isn't something he's used to, and he hopes it's not something he has to adjust to. ]

That--!!

[ What do I do, what do I do, what do I-- ]

Masaomi!

[ His name comes out hoarse. That wasn't what was supposed to come out, but it'll do. At the very least, it might shut him up and give him some time to think things through.

He's slowly starting to shrink in his place. He wants to say something - he wants to fire back with anything that has the nerve to start crawling up his throat - but nothing comes out. His mouth is dry again. ]

[A harsh flinch follows, and Masaomi quickly lets go of Mikado's hand.

This is Mikado he's talking to. Fucking Mikado. And he's-

Deep breaths.

Masaomi's gaze drops to the sidewalk, arms hanging unnaturally at his sides, as if looking for somewhere, anywhere, they can move and finding no purchase. Nothing he's said so far has helped much. It's about damn time he shuts his trap.

The silence is no less uncomfortable.]

Edited 2012-08-28 21:42 (UTC)

[ He can finally think.

At the very least, the silence manages to bring a little bit of weight from his shoulders. That's enough for him.

A heavy breath leaves him. The best place to start, probably, is his rendition of the story and how everything turned out before Joywick. He owes Masaomi that. ]

No one was shot, Masaomi. [ One more time, just to convince him. ] Sonohara-san and I-- we took you to the hospital.. and then you left. When you came back, you saw--

[ And now he can't stand to look at anything but the ground. He starts to smile, though. It's off-- but it's a genuine smile all the same. ]

.. haha, you don't remember, r-right?

[Amber irises travel tentatively upward between messy bangs.

He'd thought about it, thought about taking Saki away from it all, at least for a little while. But Saki wouldn't hear of it when she found out Mikado was in the hospital too. Really, Masaomi knew he wouldn't be able to either. That may be the only reason he even mentioned it to her. Instead she showed him that RECOVERjoy ad with the same smile as always.

Suspending disbelief, just for the moment... If he had left and come back, what would he have seen? Why is Mikado here?]

...I don't.

Edited 2012-08-29 06:14 (UTC)

You--..

[ He’s much too apprehensive to continue.

The words haven’t even left his mouth, and yet, guilt shoots straight through his core. Masaomi’s oblivious. Entirely oblivious to the fact that Mikado’s reached an all new low in his absence—and that’s not something he really wants to admit to. Considering the consequences, putting everything off until later – maybe then, they’ll understand everything – seems best.

His request comes out chopped and broken. ]

.. can you.. do me a favor, Masaomi? Ah-- sorry, maybe make that two favors..

[It's not an explanation. It's a request.

Masaomi isn't sure what to do with that at first. He feels a bit cheated, but he has to remind himself that Mikado isn't obligated to tell him anything. The fact that the guy didn't spit on him the moment he opened his mouth is amazing, but then that's not really like Mikado. Though this isn't Mikado as he knows him either, is it?

He might have actually paid attention in class for more than ten minutes at a time if they'd taught things like this.

But that train of thought is just evasion. Mikado is standing right here in front of him. He can't afford not to focus. His voice is slightly strained, stiff, but he doesn't want to scare his friend off with his indecision.]

Just name it, man. You know I'm good for it.

[...right?]

[ He doesn't dare look Masaomi in the eye while speaking. Not even once. Standing here, in front of someone he shouldn't ever think to be detestable in anyway, is a grand feat in itself. Why he isn't clutching his head and writhing on the ground is a mystery. ]

Sorry.. just wait a little bit. I'll-- I'll tell you eventually, but..

[ "But" what? He doesn't have an excuse. He's just being cowardly. He doesn't want to have to fess up about anything. Not like this, anyway. ]

Please.. please just forget that I saw you today. I want you to wait a little bit more.

[ After that, he might be able to make sense of everything and finally fess up to his wrong doings-- of course, if he'll be allowed this. ]

If Sonohara-san-- [ Or, dare he say, Aoba-- but he knows Masaomi would be the last person to inform Aoba about anything, and this situation doesn't make an exception. ] --is here, too..

Please don't mention me to her either.

[Wrong.

Lightning fast thoughts, questions, observations all slow to a dead stop. He doesn't even entirely understand what Mikado is asking of him. Wait for what? What is he waiting for and why? What he does understand, and he understands it immediately, is that Mikado is asking him to pretend they didn't meet today. He's essentially asking him to continue to pretend if they meet again before he's ready.

Funny how Mikado is asking this right after Masaomi offers his side of the story.

Except it's not funny at all.

No witty response is forthcoming, no easy nod and a pat on the shoulder. How the hell is Masaomi supposed to react to that?

He almost can't.]

Are you- Serious?

[ Any and all ability to speak has left him for good. He's so, so sorry-- he just doesn't know how to say it. Regret has stolen his voice; frustration has rid him of coherent thought; he can only stare.

While he can cross his fingers and hope, he knows that Masaomi's not going to forgive him for this any time soon.

There's nothing but one small - and incredibly hesitant - nod.

He's genuinely serious. ]

["No. What the hell, man? Are you high?"

It won't come out of his mouth. Not that saying it would make a difference if Mikado's made up his mind.

There is no dancing around the facts. The fact is that Mikado doesn't want to associate with him, doesn't want to meet him. But he's been expecting that from the beginning, hasn't he? When had he started to get his hopes up?

Right. Well, it's not like this is a new thing. He's good at pretend. Mikado knows that now. Haha. Shit.]

Well, I did say "anything."

So. Uh- I'd say goodbye, but I'm talking to thin air, so that'd be weird, right? [Hahaha. See, he's laughing. He's great at this. He takes a single step backward.] But if any rogue breezes happen to be listening to me talking to myself, that reunion party invite is open for anytime.

one ♚ action

no subject

(1/2)

(2/2)

no subject

no subject

no subject

(1/2) i swear i'm not going to do this again

(2/2) really

But I just want to pinch his cheeks and love him.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

1/2

2/2

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(1/2)

(2/2)

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Check it out, Mikado's not broke anymore. +50 joypoints to you.

they're both riding the guilt train together, so i'm sure masaomi earns his fair share too (+50)

Well, I mean, as long as they're together.